{blog}

Wednesday, February 22, 2012
A story that leads to nowhere.

Hey there old friend,

You were a little boy once when you thought of something. No one is coming to save you. You've realized that you were brought into this world alone and ultimately, you will die alone.

This idea, in a screwed up sense, comforts you.
Because this means. You and only you holds the responsibility for your life.

No one else has power over what you do as long as you retain control of your mind.

This hits you hard.

You panic.

You consume books on the subjects of willpower, personal management and even the bullshit laden law of attraction.

You read and read and read and ultimately end up with the idea that you know better than everyone else.
Confusing bookish knowledge with hard earned wisdom.

You turn into a giant flamboyant opinionated asshole who forces his ideas on others.
A stubborn bastard really.
All because you're afraid of letting others see you for the insecure boy that you are.
Because you were taught that a real man has no emotions. and silly you, you fell for it.

Now, you lose contact with old friends as you've never really bothered.

And over time, they start of forget you too. Unexpectedly, it hurts.

Angry. You say:" I don't need anyone. I'm stronger alone."

All I require is my small corner of solitude to wrap myself in.
You tell this to yourself so often that you start believing it. And to this day the belief stays.

Now, you fly off down under to further your formal education with your parent's support.

You read less books on self improvement now. Mainly fiction.

You're getting kinder but still partly succumbing to the illusion that you're better than everyone else.

In your stay there, you met a girl.

On the first night you met her.

You do your best to charm her, smooth talking like you always did. Nothing seemed to work.

But, accidentally, you said something self depreciating. You immediately recoil, thinking you blew it for sure.

Still, she stands there. and she laughs. what amazing laughter you think.

never in your life had you been more unprepared for such a moment.
and such moments, like you knew, never lasts as long as you wanted them to.

Even for a guy who fell in love with women as easily as you did.

this surpassed almost every emotion of euphoria you've ever felt.

She's pretty you think. Not in the way models are pretty, but a simple kind of beauty.

"Un-fucking-believable, the chao has fallen in love!!": you scream into your pillow, smiling the widest smile ever

Days passed and you called her to meet up.

and your poor heart nearly stopped when she said yes.

You told her so much that day, things you have never shared. not even to yourself in your notebooks.

and this time, your words. instead of being the usual bullshit. was actually meaningful. for once.

it was like she could open up an area of you, you once thought gone forever.

and, for the first time in your silly life, you were as vulnerable as a baby.

This is a cliche but you really did tell her your life's story.

How much of an asshole you were. How you didnt have a single close friend.
How immeasurably difficult it was for you to open yourself up to anyone, and even when you did, you lied or hid parts of the story to make yourself look better.

How you used to be a compulsive liar and an amazing manipulator.

You told her EVERYTHING. and she took it all in.

No judgement, only understanding. and just like that, you were suddenly different.

however, all of this.

you kept to yourself. not wanting to jinx it.

Still running around your routinely mundane life.
Somehow believing that the magic will last if nobody else knew about it.

Wasn't hard at all, after all, you considered yourself the great pretender.
the king of secrets.

As lovely and dramatic as it all seemed. you were suddenly faced with reality.

She could not possibly be with you. As much as you wanted to believe in this story.

You knew that it was never possible.

She was older and much too wise.

and then there was the differences in culture.

All of a sudden, you felt like a lost guy in a strange world you loved yet knew you had to leave.

A gap too wide to cross.

Weeks continued rolling by, and she was kind.

She told you what you needed to hear. and even though you expected it, it still hurt.

Just because you know you'll be stabbed in the next moment doens't make it hurt any less.

in fact, replaying the scene in your head probably damaged you quite a bit.

That week, you took out your sadness on your clueless housemate.

Poor girl. you feel sorry for it now.
Until today, everytime you see your housemate's face, you are reminded of hateful feelings.

Her face repulses you even, and you know, it's wrong to feel this way.

But the association of emotions and that face was too strong. You'll always feel bad.

thinking of this sickens you.

Once more, you withdrawn into your shell of self-sufficiency. Total isolation.

and you read. You learn of stoicism and their idea of the domestication of emotions.

You learn, you draw and you start to feel whole again.

You start to feel the urge for ink and paper and you begin to fill pages with your thoughts.

Eventually, those nasty thoughts in your head started to clear.

This gave you back your greatest ally, your mind.

With his return, the profound sense of excitement that you had with her came to you once again.

And in that deep night, you remember her words to you.
a lesson that you had never fully understood, even with your books.

She taught you that you are not your past.

that greatness is not something you are, that greatness is what you do.

Once again, you now have hope.

and you know, to her. you will be forever grateful.

I @ 1:30 AM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
About Mathematics #3

Don't click if you hate maths

Question 7(c)

7(a ) can be done by yourself (you lazy arse) while 7(b) is essentially easy.

now, we start off by defining f(x) to be the left hand side of the equation in 7(b), i.e.

and by newton’s method, the approximation of the root a is:

where n is the nth approximation where n > 0;

and when n=0, it is the initial approximation (smart guess)

I believe I have at least done it once, an approximation method? remember, beng?

anyway. lets start with an approximation of WHERE is the !#$@ root, shall we? by 7(b), we know that -1 < a < 0;

so lets start with x = 0 as our first approximation.

so,

this will be our first approximation by the newton’s method. no more guessing now.

performing it a second time gives:

so a = –0.4506

yeah.

Now, moving on to question 9, I am will be using two ideas to solve this, namely

Integration (i.e. the EXACT area)
Riemann summation (overestimation and underestimation)

alright. here’s the graph of 1/x , or so i think it is.

Graph of 1/x

so the question basically asks you to estimate the area graph in two ways : by overestimation and underestimation.

by overestimation, they mean taking the sum of the following shaded rectangles

as you can see, the area obviously Overestimates the area underneath it, duh, right?

anyway, the area of a single rectangle taken at x = n is

summing it over n to 2n – 1 (why? think about it yourself) gives the following sum:

which is bigger than the exact area of the graph between n to 2n.

On the other hand, the area which underestimates it is this:

Now, try to digest the graph and the area properly, as think about the area of a single rectangle in this case is this :

while the sum, is essentially this: (now think, why? )

while the ACTUAL area under the said graph from n to 2n can be easily determined by integration.

Then one could make the obvious inequality of underestimate < exact < overestimate

as required.

Chicken.

Beng. tsk tsk.

do you copy my answers word by word? hmmm.

cheecken0 @ 5:52 PM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Monday, August 1, 2011
About Mathematics #2

Don't click if you hate maths

Question 5

Crazy derivatives? Think again.

A good way to look at these questions are to note that each and everyone of these are products of functions, and you know what to do with antiderivatives of those, don’t you? you little furry beng kiat.

You quote maths bible

Calculus 12:23

Also known as integrating by parts

Actually, today I shall use a simpler method called integration by substitution.

The key to using that method is to properly identify parts of a factor of that product which is similar to parts of another factor.

Example 5(a)

The the first factor is strikingly similar to that of the derivative of the exponent of the second factor, i.e.

and

which is something like 2x^2, right?

so therefore you can substitute and solve it as such:

and adding the constant in the end

As required. Question 5(b) can also be done that way;

where C is the constant of integration.

Question 5(c) is a little bit tricky, since it does not use substitution; however using partial fractions.

Working is a little bit straightforward , no explanation is required (i think)

as required.

There. Still having alot of questions to do

Chicken

Numerics AHHHHHH

cheecken0 @ 4:55 PM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Sunday, July 31, 2011
About Mathematics

Question 4

(a) Angle C is chosen such that C is less than 90 degrees i.e. 0 < C <90

Something like this

by considering the standard triangle formula 1/2 bh where b = base length and h = perpendicular height

then, sin C = h/AC

or h = AC sin C

then the formula changes to A = 1/2 b (AC sin C) which is

A = 1/2 ab sin C , since AC is a.

(b)

using the basic rate of change formula,

and since

and dC/dt is 0.1 rads /sec as given

then

as required.

Chicken,

Taking my own sweet time for the rest.

cheecken0 @ 4:07 PM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Help on Maths!

Question 4,6,7,8 and 9 but priority question 7,8 & 9,Thanks!!!

ChAoZ @ 10:40 PM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

In The Name of… OMFGWTF?

Its ALIVE!!!!

ITS ALIVE! In the name of chuck-bass-black-mole Jon, the blog is alive yet once again!

Well its 2011, and who those who do not update themselves; here’s what happened recently:

Our si panjang simmo-the-not-so-screamo Sim Hui has garnered and dominated the stage during the X Top Model Search 2011!

( at which I wasn't even there )

All hail the queen

Now now guys, you will have to pass through the likes of Pei and Teresa to even get to sim.
Congratulations once again!

/* perhaps someday i might get photos like that after i've been bestowed the Nobel Prize for (whatever) */

Chicken

using this as an impetus to post something on this BHLORG

GUYS! POST SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!

YES, you too, Sim Hui si panjang.

cheecken0 @ 10:54 AM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Friday, July 29, 2011

List of anime I watched before since chee khuin insisted something to be posted up on our dead blog! Need detail description? Ask google or me xD
bold represent recommended

Amagami SS
- romance genre

Angel Beats!
- romance & mystery genre

Ao no Exorcist (ongoing)
- action genre

Bakemonogatari
- mystery genre

Beelzebub
- comedy genre

Black Rock Shooter Movie
- action & mystery genre

Blassreiter
- action genre

Canaan
- action genre

Darker Than Black & Darker Than Black: Ryusei no Gemini
- mystery & action genre

Deadman Wonderland
- action & bloody genre

Dragon Crisis
- action genre

Gosick!
- mystery, romance & comedy genre

Gundam 00
- mecha & action genre

High School of the Dead
- undead & ecchi genre

Hoshizoea e Kakaru Hashi
- romance, comedy & ecchi genre

Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Girls
- action, ecchi & harem genre

Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou
- action & ecchi genre

Infinite Stratos
- mecha, romance & ecchi genre

Kaichou wa Maid Sama
- comedy & romance genre

Kiss x Sis
- comedy, romance, harem & ecchi genre

K-On S1 & S2
- SUPER comedy & musical genre

MM!
- comedy & ecchi genre

Neon Genesis Evangelion
- action genre

Nurarihyon no Mago
- demon & comedy genre

Omamori Himari
- comedy, ecchi & harem genre

Romeo x Juliet
- romance genre

Rosario + Vampire
- comedy, ecchi & harem genre

Seitokai Yakuindomo
- SUPER comedy & ecchi

Shinrei Tantei Yakumo
- mystery genre

Shuffle!
- romance genre

Sora no Manimani
- comedy genre

The World God Only Knows S1 & s2
- don't know how to describe

To Love Ru
- comedy & ecchi genre

ChAoZ @ 9:41 PM
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................